Remember as a child when you were waiting for Christmas to arrive? In reality, it may have been only a few short weeks away. You knew it was coming, but it seemed as though it would never get here. Each day you marked off another box on the calendar. Or you tore another link from the paper chain you made. Either way, you were convinced you would grow old and wither away before Christmas ever came.
This has been my reality lately. I know there are good things in my near future. There is no doubt in my mind about that. But the waiting. . . it’s like telling a child they get to have a sleepover on Friday night. On Monday they’re asking you if it’s tonight. You tell them four more days. Tuesday comes and they’re asking again. “Is today the sleepover?” Nope. It’s only been one day. You have to wait FOUR more days. Each day you’re met with the same monotonous question: Is today the day?
As adults we are usually in charge of the goings-on in our lives. We decide when we’re going to do something, or go somewhere. We decide where we’re going to live and what job we want. This has been the norm for most of my life. In my early 20s I worked as nurse. When my children came on scene, I was a full-time mom at home. When my youngest started school, I got a job as a school nurse. That lead to the desire to become a teacher, and I’ve taught elementary and middle school for the past 15 years. Not a long career as some teachers go, but it’s been long enough for me. I’m tired, and I want to do something new. This past year, with the purchase of April Farms, I made a choice to step out in faith, and trust God to guide me in the job He wants me to have.
Faith and trust. We often throw those words around casually. I trust you. I have faith that everything will work out. But what does it take to really believe that? Faith means to have confidence in someone else. Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone. These have serious meaning: Confidence. Firm belief. Reliability. Truth. Strength of someone else. Am I really practicing faith and trust? It’s been an off-and-on struggle for several months now. Some days it’s easy, and I’m overjoyed with the anticipation of moving and starting a new way of life. Other days I feel swallowed up in doubt. Friends are making future plans, and things are simply falling into place for them, seemingly with little effort. So why does it seem so tough for me?
When I get myself into a tizzy and start wondering why about a lot of things, that still, small voice inside says “In My time”. I know this is true. In His time. That job in Oregon isn’t ready for me yet. “Don’t get ahead of Me”. Just like a child, I want what I want and I want it now. I tend to get ahead of the plan He has for my life. Calm down, relax, and enjoy the moment of today. It’s only Monday. The sleepover will be here before you know it.